Funny, But True Liberal Jokes!

[The Finman]

<h2>Liberal Jokes</h2>

Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?

Answer - A competent liberal President.

Question - Why do the male members of the Kennedy family cry while having sex?

Answer - Mace.

Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?

Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.

Question - How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer - None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer - One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer - Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.

Question - How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer - None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

Question - How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer - They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.

[Sweetpea]

Those were great! [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img]

Thanks for the laugh, Fin.

[Simply Emo]

Originally posted by The Finman:
Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?

Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.

LMFAO! [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img]

[Fleet]

Originally posted by The Finman:
<h2>Liberal Jokes</h2>

Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

I like this puppy joke! Actually, it's no joke- it's an accurate statement.

[Dutch]

Originally posted by The Finman:
<h2>Liberal Jokes</h2>

Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

I thought it has something to do with making a mess everywhere in your home and having no ability to clean their mess, then ultimately leaving the chore of cleaning their mess with you...

But the whining analogy works for me as well.

[firewall_bypass]

lol way to improve the joke dutch...I likes and as always finman,great list.

[The Finman]

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.

Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.

Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.

Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.