Funny Clinton Jokes

[The Finman]

Question: What do you say to a Liberal President who is wearing a red tie?
Answer: Will the defendant please rise.

Question: Why do Liberals follow Bill Clinton?
Answer: They love the smell of stank.

Question: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ?
Answer: One is the Son of God, and the other is a S.O.B.

Question: What’s the definition of a “frenzy?”
Clinton in a whorehouse

Question: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ?
Answer: One said “the truth will set you free,” and the other said “the truth will lock me up.”

Question: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ? T
Answer: he Conservatives worship One, and the Liberals worship the other.

Question: Does the Bible foretell Clinton?
Answer: No, but it does speak of a snake.

Question: What paper will carry William Jefferson Clinton’s legacy?
Answer: Toilet paper.

Question: What magazine will carry William Jefferson Clinton’s legacy?
Answer: Playboy.

Question: What is the last thing Clinton wants to hear when he is making love?
Answer: Honey I’m home.

Question: How will Bill Clinton entertain himself in jail?
Answer: Hey Macarena.

Question: If you see Bill Clinton with a lady, what is the first thing you should do?
Answer: Check to see if she’s your wife.

Question: Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers not briefs?
Answer: Boxers keep his ankles warmer

Question: What is the difference between Clinton and a tent?
Answer: It is difficult to erect a tent

Question: How does Clinton turn on the light after he makes love?
Answer: He opens the car door.

Question: What is the best Intern Bill Clinton could have?
Answer: One that never misses a period

Question: Why did Monica have to get on top?
Answer: Because Clinton always screws up.

Question: How can you tell the difference between Monica and Hillary?
Answer: One turns heads and the other turns stomachs.

Question: Why doesn’t Clinton’s dog buddy do tricks?
Answer: Because you have to be smarter than the dog to teach it tricks.

Question: What sign does Clinton give when he is lying?
Answer: He wags his finger and opens his mouth.

Question: What is the difference between a dead snake on a HWY. and a dead Clinton on the HWY.?
Answer: There are skid marks before the snake.

Question: Why is Clinton so tough on criminals?
Answer: He doesn’t like competition.

Question: Why are all Hillary’s friends lesbian?
Answer: So she can trust them around her husband.

Question: What has Monica learned from her troubles?
Answer: Don’t light the cigar first.

Question: Why does Monica Lewisnsky get confused in the ladies room?
Answer: She has to pull her own pants down.

Question: What are Al Gores chances at becoming President?
Answer: Excellent if the GOP nominates a tree.

Question: How can Clinton save Hillary from drowning?
Answer: If he takes his foot off her head.

Question: What is the only thing less exciting than hearing Al Gore speak?
Answer: Watching Hillary undress.

Question: What is the only thing less boring than hearing Al Gore speak?
Answer: Nothing.

Question: What does Monica think of when she smells a cigar?
Answer: Clinton.

[Sweetpea]

Question: What is the difference between a dead snake on a HWY. and a dead Clinton on the HWY.?
Answer: There are skid marks before the snake.

OMG! ROTFLMAO! [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img]