I AM CANADIAN

[Yukon]

What do Canadians have to be proud of:

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of Canadian football fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ***

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ***

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.

14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

25. Our elections only take one day.

[Simply Emo]

Wow... Congratulations Yukon for being Canadian; you are giving Canadians a bad name....

[JohnnyYuma]

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

Why would the Germans WANT Canada ?

20. We don't marry our kin-folk

that would be preferable to de-flowering your moose population

dP

[Dutch]

Yukon,

Other than hockey, diamonds, and broomball, Canada really has nothing to offer the world.

Your list is also completely false and I will not waste the time addressing all the flaws you've intentionally posted just to be a bleeding hemorrhoid.

Why on Earth Canada claims to have a military is beyond me. You have Polar bears to the north of you and America covering your southern boarder – which you guys are too stupid to manage on your own.

Are you afraid that Breezly Bruin is going to try and take over that toilet you call a country?


19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

I bet you do, especially the rear end.

[Arnhem]

I Am Canadian

By: Guy Crittenden

"Ever since Pierre Trudeau became prime minister in 1968, Canada has become an increasingly French-style, over-regulated, high-tax, low-productivity, anti-innovation, anti-competition, free-market-fearing socialist country run from behind-the-scenes by kleptomaniac unions and bloated rent-seeking industries and Crown corporations or their proxies.

"Canadians can't eat, drink or use the washroom without Orwellian government oversight and taxation; smugness and subconscious envy of Americans has replaced their entrepreneurial pioneer spirit.

"Implementation of the Kyoto accord will simply add another layer of subsidies and central planning to the dismal situation.

"Every time a Canadian boards an airplane he overpays to prop up a banana republic-style airline monopoly that would instantly collapse if it ever had to face real competition.

"A Canadian can't buy eggs without paying through the nose to bolster the egg producers' protection racket.

"His milk and grain (yes, the most basic items) are similarly overpriced by "marketing boards" that protect the interests of wealthy producers, not the public. Thus, a major Canadian beer company imports its barley from South Korea because it's cheaper than buying at home!

Sense of entitlement

"Politicians fall over themselves subsidizing uneconomic crops and farms that should have ceased operation decades ago, because of emotional appeals from the powerful farm lobby to a mythic agricultural past. Many farmers are now among the biggest welfare bums in the country and their sense of entitlement would have made their forefathers ashamed. Yet Canadians must eat and pay.

"When a Canadian attempts to drink or smoke away his sorrows, he grossly overpays for highly taxed beer, wine, liquor and cigarettes - all perfectly legal products.

"When he turns to TV or radio to temporarily escape his hectored existence he encounters the unaccountable CBC and its mediocre programs; worse, the nanny-state PR instrument uses its tax-favoured status to compete unfairly with better private sector media, and brainwash Canadians that social programs alone define their national identity.

"Most of a Canadian's taxes pay for a collectivist educational system whose graduates can't name their national heroes, locate their city on a map, or even guess at the spelling of "illiterate." And they fund a competition-free medical system in which anyone who needs an MRI scan or other added-value service must flee to the United States. The poor simply die waiting in line.

"A Canadian can't drive his car without overpaying for gasoline, which is taxed as though the use of private transport in this vast country is some kind of sin.

"A Canadian is typically unaware of the complex subsidies and tax exemptions that make Canada's lumber, steel and other commodities artificially cheap for consumers in other countries but expensive for him. The forest products companies don't pay market-rate stumpage fees, uncompetitive steel companies are bailed out over and over, fishermen are paid to sit about for half the year even as the cod stocks decline to zero. The list goes on and on.

"Every time a Canadian opens a kitchen tap or flushes the toilet, he participates in the vast protected, inefficient (and polluting) water and sewage monopoly that he pays for via municipal and provincial taxes.

"When a Canadian turns on a light switch or heats his stove or home, he pays too much for electricity and gas because of state-subsidized hydroelectric and nuclear power monopolies and gas pipeline cartels whose manipulation of public policy would have made Joe Stalin blush.

The pound of flesh

"Adding insult to injury, after the government takes away half his earnings, or more, in direct and indirect taxes, a Canadian finds he can't invest more than a third of his registered retirement savings in another more productive economy (assuming he can save anything after the Canadian banks - another cartel - take a pound of his flesh in the form of mortgage or inflated credit card interest).

"His dollar is worth only 63 American cents.

"Atop all this, the federal government signed a Chicken Little agreement to prevent the sky from falling (it isn't, but their computer simulation says it might) and ratified the Kyoto accord our main trading partner has wholly rejected. The government tells the Canadian that compliance will be achieved by the use of more of his tax money (they call it "the surplus") to further subsidize industries that have been subsidized all along.

"He is offered his own tax money to retrofit his house to become more energy efficient, and is told grants, interest-free loans and rebates will be given to hare-brained wind farm, solar and ethanol fuel schemes that studies after studies have demonstrated won't work as advertised and will never offset more than a tiny fraction of the country's energy needs, which will now grow at greater cost.

"And the Canadian accepts this because after enough time, hostages become enamoured of their captors and will even fight for them on the barricades."
_________________

I thought the irony of it all would make this suited for the "humor" section, specifically this post...seeing as how the article that came from was also entitled, "I am Canadian."

[kate]

[img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/Laughing.gif[/img]

[Simply Emo]

Kate; will you please stop answering topics with just smilies! You're become a rabid poster just like your comrade

[The Finman]

Yukon what did I tell you about crediting your source? [img]graemlins/lazy.gif[/img]

http://www.pr3tend.org/cdn.html

http://www.huumor.com/joke_2534

Yukon, I'm real close to putting you in "moderated" mode, which means that before your posts shows up, they must be cleared by a moderator or admin to verify that it hasn't been "ripped off" from somewhere else and that it has the proper quotes and/or source link.

If you look down underneath the "Add Reply" button you will see the "QUOTE" button.

Here it looks like this.

[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0QQDgAqgTRIqC4OAuMt1wb3obD6xKvwiXrP*mEdLoEh5YTGWOF 4F5*SbhWxq4z4uBsZu2BtKKuduNKtOhcKr*zVazxTMU7!dpXdJ 3h*xuSc8/quote.gif[/img]

[kate]

Originally posted by QuantumCathexis:
Kate; will you please stop answering topics with just smilies! You're become a rabid poster just like your comrade

lol sorry I am just on the phone and couldn'T resist reacthing..lol

It was just funny.. lol

[TonyS]

Some people never learn. [img]graemlins/sharpshooter.gif[/img]

How hard is it to post the URL yuks?? You call Buah a moron?? Look in the mirror trollman!